Alpine, Texas: Monsters Be Here

I hated The Dairy Twist. In my childish prayers at night I would pray for it to burn to the ground. I know, that’s awful, but I was four or five years old at the time and I had no true sense of danger concerning a fire. I just felt like if the place burned down, we (my parents, brother, and I) could buy a real house in a real neighborhood with real neighborhood children to play with.

While I had no real sense of danger from house fires, for you see our house was attached to the back part of The Dairy Twist, I did believe that danger was lurking behind every corner in the house in the form of hideous monsters. The monsters were the reason that I sat on a folded sleeping bag in the back storage area of The Dairy Twist instead of playing in the house that was attached to it.

I tried for a time to play alone in the house while my parents served food from the front part of The Dairy Twist. But I distinctly remember sitting there in the living room playing with my Barbies when one of those dreadful monsters sneaked up behind me and poked my back with its semi-transparent finger. I ran away and never returned to play there alone again.

When the monsters weren’t cleverly hiding behind furniture in the house some of them lived in the ceiling. Our house had ceiling tiles and due to a leaky roof some of these tiles were badly water damaged and some were missing altogether. I was sure there were skeletons hiding up there who would peek down at me at night as I tried to sleep. I suffered from insomnia as a child. Maybe it was the monsters who kept me from my sleep.

I’m sure it didn’t help that my dad read me a poem from one of his childhood books called Little Orphan Annie. It scared me so badly that I always feared goblins standing near the bed at night reaching out to snatch me away to wherever goblins take bad little children.

Here’s the poem Little Orphan Annie which he read to me:

Little Orphan Annie came to our house to stay,
And washed the cups and saucers up, and brush the crumbs away,
And shoo the chickens off the porch, and dust the hearth, and sweep,
And make the fire, and bake the bread, and earn her board and keep;
And all us other children, when the supper things are done,
We sit around the kitchen fire and have the best of fun
Listening to the scary tales that Annie tells about,
And the Goblins will get you, if you don’t watch out.

Once there was a little boy who wouldn’t say his prayers
And when he went to bed at night, all the way upstairs,
His Mommy heard him holler, and his daddy heard him bawl,
And when they turned the covers down, he wasn’t there at all!
And they searched for him in the attic, and the cubby-hole, and press,
And they searched up the chimney, and everywhere, I guess;
But all they ever found was his pants and round about
And the Goblins will get you, if you don’t watch out.

Once there was a little girl who liked to laugh and grin,
And make fun of everyone, her family and kin
Whenever there was company, and guests were sitting there,
She mocked them and she shocked them, and said she didn’t care!
Suddenly she kicked her heels, and turned to run and hide,
There were two great big Black Things standing by her side,
They snatched her through the ceiling before she knew they were about!
And the Goblins will get you, if you don’t watch out.

And Little Orphan Annie says, when the blaze is blue,
And the lamp-wick sputters, and the wind goes woo-oo!
And you hear the crickets quit, and the moon is gray,
And the lightning bugs in dew are all squenched away
Listen to your parents and your teachers fond and dear,
And churish those who love you, and dry the orphan’s tear,
And help the poor and needy ones that cluster all about,
Or the Goblins will get you, so you better watch out.